Decompression
by Soulreciever
Summary: Kyoto had changed so much more than had innitially seemed the case. Slash, flangst, randomverse.
1. Catharsis

Decompression

1. Catharsis.

T: The first fic in a long while, partially because other, non anime, fandoms have stolen my time and partially because I wanted to make sure that I've hit a few duff notes recently…moving on, however, expect to find angst, fluff, slash, a smattering of things both anime and manga verse, oh and potential spoilers for anything in anime. I own nothing that you see here other than the plot.

O

Crisp, cotton, sheets, the scent of disinfectant on the air and the sound of Tsuzuki's gentle snoring somewhere in the darkness at his back.

Caught in the odd point between sleep and full consciousness he finds himself dwelling over how such simple things have become as the greatest of comforts, finds himself at last confronting the reality that has been left to him in the wake of Kyoto.

He dreams now not of the blood red moon, the pale shower of sakura and the chill of the night air against his skin, but rather sharp, dry, heat, the sting of smoke in his lungs and the terrible, unforgettable, scent of charring skin.

Where once the sight and scent of the infirmary had woken a nervous anticipation and clawing sense of claustrophobia in his heart, he now found this sensation sparked by the thought of being rid of such things.

In the tiny world that he currently inhabited he is as no more need to explain his actions on that desperate night that he has any other. Once he is outside he will be made to cage the act of reckless impulsiveness in words, will have him mark down his every movement with the cool, clinical, detachment needed for bureaucracy and that will, he knows, make it somehow…

…less.

He finds himself twisting a little then, finds himself at last opening his eyes in order that he might take in the sight of his partner's sleeping face.

He looks somehow older in this light, the odd shadows cast by hair and facial features, adding the years that death stole away.

Since the moment that he had woken in this bed after the Incident he as yearned only to cross the scant divide between them and again furl his arms about the other…has yearned, for the first time in either this life or the last, for the simple security that only touch offered.

It is a compulsion stilled not only by the fear of somehow hurting the other but also for the simple fear of the power of that desire…of the terrible, chaotic, swell of emotions he feels always now while within the other's company.

A faint sound from Tsuzuki has him flushing, blocking the emotions away and swiftly rolling himself back away from the elder.

Warm, pleasant, feelings as sunlight against his skin and then the mussed enquiry of,

"Are you awake, 'Soka?"

For a moment he seriously considers staying perfectly still and taking the easier escape, however, he has not, apparently, come so low as for his pride to let such spinelessness go and he finds himself instead responding,

"Hn, who can sleep with you snoring like that?"

A hurt little noise, akin to that made by a lonely puppy, the rustle of sheets and then the other is there at his side, amethyst eyes shining with entirely false tears,

"Neh, you don't mean that, right, 'soka?"

Flushing he punts the other gently to the floor and enquires, "Idiot! Who would believe something like that and even go so far as to react to it in such a childish manner?"

"Ah! It seems my two favourite patients are up and about!" The statement is made with a sing song cheer matched both in Watari's surface emotions and the smile all but splitting his lips.

"Oh, Watari…I was just having the teeniest stretch and entirely not over exerting myself in any way shape or form!" Tsuzuki remarks as he slowly edges his way back into his bed.

"Don't worry, Tsu, you're officially lecture free from here on in."

A cold chill claims him at the simple remark and, sitting himself up, he enquires,

"What does that mean, Watari?"

"You're both well enough now that your being here is now officially a 'drain on resources', also it seems that an assignment has come up that Kanoe-kaichou wants you to handle personally."

A dark, terrible, name springs instantly to mind at that and, feeling now altogether nauseous, he says,

"I'll go get dressed."

"Calm down, Bon." Watari says as he catches a hold of his wrist a mere moment before he can transport, "It's nothing to do with…him…and Kaichou's pretty keen on seeing you asap, therefore I thought it'd make more sense for the clothes to come to you rather than visa versa."

A snap of his fingers and 003 is struggling through the doorway, her slight form almost comically weighted down by the suit bags tied, carefully, about each leg.

Skipping back over to the owl Watari releaser her of her burden, gifts her with some undisclosed treat or another and then allows her to settle somewhere amid the shear mass of his hair.

"I want you to come back here the instant either of you get any sort of alarming twinge and, Bon, make sure you're idiot of a partner changes his dressings on a regular basis, ok?" The enquiry is a deliberate tease intended to lighten the mood and he makes a mental note to thank the scientist for the unexpected kindness the next that they are alone.

Once Watari has left them again to their own devices Tsuzuki opens each bag and, once he has determined which is his own, he begins to cautiously work his way out of the silken pyjama set that has, for what seems a lifetime, been his day to day attire.

He knows that he should be following suit and yet, for an instant, he is caught by the movement of mussel against mussel, by the stark contrast of tan, tan skin and the bright white of medical gauze.

A sound, somewhere off in the veritable maze of corridors, starts him back to himself and, flushing, he spins to face the wall.

Precisely five minutes later they're crossing the threshold of Kanoe's office, only one edge of gauze, barely visible beneath the line of Tsuzuki's cuff and the impossible scent of smoke lingering still in his nose, as signs that things have ever been anything else.

Kanoe responds to them, as always, with a warmth that he supposes other's would name, readily, paternal affection and, chuckling a little, he gestures to the empty chairs opposite his own and says,

"It seems that Watari-san might have been a little over enthused in the part that I gave him."

"Kaichou?"

"Sorry, sorry, it seems I've developed the terrible habit of starting conversations half way through. My father was the same and it used to wind me up so very terribly that I swore that I'd never do the same…still that's age for you." Flashing them a smile layered with the edges of regret and fondness he associates always with nostalgia, Kanoe waves his hand in a clearly dismissive and says, "Anyway, the truth is that I bribed Watari into finding a way to get you two here without too much drama."

"Then there is no case?"

"Correct, Kurosaki-san."

"So then why are we here?"

"Decompression."

"You're really not making any sense, Kaichou." Tsuzuki remarks as he lifts a hand to move his fringe, momentarily, from his field of vision and shifts a little in his seat, both clear outward indications of the agitation currently drifting off of him.

"As things stand now the both of you have a subconscious fear of going back up topside, it's understandable given the circumstances, but it makes putting you back onto active duty entirely unthinkable." Kanoe remarks as he pushes a novelty check book in Tsuzuki's direction, "In order to 'make things better' I've arranged for the two of you to visit Nagasaki, not at any real expense, I'm afraid, but hopefully the city should be a little quieter than the last you saw it."

The casual mention of what had been their very first case as partners stirs an emotive state within Tsuzuki that he knows he shall never get around. Thus, feeling more than a little played and greatly perturbed, he sighs a defeated sigh and enquires,

"Where are we staying?"

O

T: Next chapter next week at the latest. Hate it? Love it? Press the review button!


	2. Tablet

2. Tablet. 

T: Warnings as in previous chapter, with the addition here of a little theorising on my part and the inclusion of a very minor OC. I still own only the plot.

O

Three years of living from cheep hotel room to cheep hotel room had made him appreciate the strangest of things. Products for the shower that didn't smell as though they had come from a chemical factory, a mattress with lumps less than the size of a fist or, as in the case of this room, a little machine that provided coffee that, though instant, carried the nuttier edge found in a freshly ground blend.

He'd just finished arranging what few items he'd brought up from the bureaux when he feels an unmistakable symphony of emotions all but flying down the hallway just outside his front door.

Tsuzuki looks somewhat surprised when he opens the door an instant before he knocks, something that has him shaking his head and remarking, "You're not shielding."

"Oh!" Surprise and then a sudden sense of loneliness as the elder once again raises his mental shielding, "I guess I forgot."

That Tsuzuki trusts him enough to simply forget so integral to protecting the privacy that he valued still so very highly, is a thing that he can not comprehend and full of such wonder that, for an instant, he finds himself entirely lost by the thought. Then his partner is catching, very gently, onto his wrist and remarking,

"Let's go see if that restaurant is still in business."

Three years has done little to change the sprawling mass of stores, temples and memorials that make up Nagasaki, nor indeed the general mood of the people who inhabited the city.

The last that he had seen these streets he'd been desperate to find some way back to the memories he'd lost after dying, had been desperate to find some way to give some point to that death and to the unwanted second life that he'd somehow stumbled into.

He can recall the sudden spike of shock that'd had him turning down an alley, can recall the very instant he'd felt the chaotic mess that had been Tsuzuki's emotional imprint at the time and how his useless heart had sped at the first contact with those beautiful eyes.

With hindsight he can see how the decision had been made to partner them, can see how Kanoe would have been able to see the odd similarities in their personal trauma's as well as how their short comings and idiosyncrasies could slot together to create some perfect whole.

At the time he'd wished for nothing other than to get the hell through the case tethering him to his lumbering idiot of a partner and strike out for better ground. A sentiment which had been solidified by the experience he'd had the last that they dined at the little restaurant now within eyesight.

Tsuzuki releases his grip a few feet from the entrance and, looking somewhat sheepish, enquires,

"You are hungry, right?"

"Hn, make certain of that sort of thing before you go dragging people off on random impulses, idiot!" He retorts and then, because he understands the thought behind the rashness, he adds, "I am curious to see if their dumplings are as tasty as I remember."

The instant that they cross into the space he is struck with how very little it has changed, the panes between seating areas still bear delicate paintings of Chinese dragons, the lights are still draped with elegantly knotted silken ropes and the furniture was still jarringly plain against this mass of decadence.

Once they are seated Tsuzuki leans a little across the table in order to whisper, "It's like time just stood still!" with his usual childlike fervour.

"Only as far as the building is concerned," he counters as he gestures towards the elder's fringe.

Chuckling Tsuzuki sits back and responds,

"That's right, I was going though my 'salary man' phase when we met…boy was that a mistake, though I _do_ fancy trimming my fringe a little."

"Don't try doing it yourself this time."

"I don't know, you make one mistake…" He trails as a waitress finally approaches their table and, looking now every inch a mature adult, begins reeling off his order.

Once Tsuzuki eventually reaches a conclusion to the seemingly endless list he glances, expectantly, in his direction and, flushing a little under such for the scrutiny, he says, "A portion of your pork dumplings, please and a pot of the house tea," before turning his attention to a spot just to the left of his partner's head. It is a vantage point that means he can not miss the smile that spreads onto the elder's face when they are again alone and, sighing, he enquires,

"What?"

"Can I steal a dumpling once they're here?"

"You're seriously not going to want one after all that food."

"Ah, I guess that's true, what with those long, painful, weeks of the patented 'Gruesome Twosome' recovery diet shrinking my stomach and all. Oh! I know! I'll ask the waitress to find us a take-a-way box when she gets back!"

"Do and I'll never talk to you again." He remarks before enquiring, "Also, what did I say about this 'Gruesome Twosome' thing?"

"'Soka it's only a harmless little nickname."

"No nickname is ever harmless where Tatsumi-san is concerned, you should know that better than anyone and I can't see Watari being all too enthused with it either."

"It's not as thought I'm going to use it in a face to face situation and anyway…"

"'They've earned it,' yes, yes, I know." He pauses in order to allow the returned waitress to deposit her rather weighty burden and then he enquires, "Remind me just as to why that was."

"Because ever since they finally hooked up they've rubbed off on one another in the bad way…Tatsumi's really starting to enjoy deliberately winding people up and Watari's gotten all budget conscious."

"Yes and this 'hooking up' supposedly happened when?"

"Last month, just after that really nasty explosion…the one that meant we had to bunk down in Watari's place for a day or so…but you should know that already, right?"

"Tatsumi-san has natural shields that are a great deal stronger than the one's you've been building since we met and Watari's…enthusiasm…is forceful enough to basically white everything else out."

"Right, right, I remember you telling me that before." There is a long silence after that as Tsuzuki begins to make a dent in the almost mountainous pile of food surrounding him and then the other is informing him, "We've been seeing a little more of Tatsumi since the incident, always without much of an explanation for his presence and always with that soft little smile on his lips. Also 'Tari is basically glowing thanks to how happy he is…caring about Tatsumi's not been an overnight thing for him, after all."

Of course he had noted the extra dimension in the Scientist's base emotions since the explosion, but had pit it down to the other having made some unexpected scientific discovery out of the disaster. As to the scientist's apparent yearning for the sectary and the changes in Tatsumi's manner that Tsuzuki had sighted…

"Sometimes I think you have more natural charm that can be healthy for one man." He remarks as he at last lifts the lid from his dumpling steamer.

Amused violet eyes catch his own a moment and Tsuzuki responds with a "more than likely," before fixing his attention back onto his own food.

For a while afterwards the silence remains, though it is a warm, companionable, thing bred out of the simple comfort they both feel within one another's presence.

Eventually Tsuzuki has only a thin sliver of what looks to be cheesecake left in front of him and, smiling, he enquires, "care to trade?" as he gestures towards his last lonely dumpling,

"No."

"Ah, you're only saying that because you think this is a sweet, sweet desert, right?"

"No, I'm saying it because it's my dumpling. If you'd wanted to try them so badly then you should have ordered your own helping."

"If I'd done that you'd have told me off for spending too much on one meal and anyway you still, technically, owe me one from last time"

The words spark the instant, vivid, memory of their last visit and, flushing, he edges the steamer towards his partner.

"You win." The bad mood response draws a laugh form the other and, gently switching the steamer for the pudding, he says,

"Here, consider it a conciliation prize."

"Tsuzuki…" the rest of the protestation is cut off as a fork laden with clagy, chilled, cheesecake is thrust into his mouth.

The desert is surprisingly tart, only the hint of ginger amid the biscuit base and the occasional fleck of pure, crystallised, sugar adding the sweeter edge that normally dominated his partner's chosen puddings.

Brow creasing in suspicion he snatches the fork out of Tsuzuki's hand, making sure to gain a scant moment of skin on skin contact as he does as such.

"It was all a ruse to get me try this dratted thing, wasn't it?"

"Yep."

"You…you…"

"Idiot?" Tsuzuki innocently enquires as he pops the last dumpling into his mouth and simply swallows.

They'd been politely escorted out of the restaurant but a few moments later, he buoyed still by hot, indignation and Tsuzuki humming some cheery tune as smugly as he is able.

He'd attempted to squish a little of that smugness as they'd walked, an entirely pride filled action that'd derailed not only by Tsuzuki's apparently very sudden and very selective deafness, but also by the sharp realisation that he'd not actually been heading back to the hotel.

"Where are you taking me now?"

"To say hello."

It'd been a frustratingly oblique sentence that'd somehow become more so as they'd reached their destination.

X

An elegant, highly traditional, building stands but a foot before them, it's short, long, lines, contrasting sharply with the taller, thinner, buildings to either side.

Tsuzuki scrambles about in his pocket as they approach the front door, eventually producing a finely scripted Ofuda that he presses, almost reverently, against the wood. A solid click and then he is being gently led into the familiar space of an entrance hall.

He retains his silence as he follows Tsuzuki in removing his shoes and stepping, somewhat cautiously, onto the soft tatami matting. It is a restraint that he keeps both out of a prideful want to not ask for aid and in deference to the thick, temple like, atmosphere.

The room into which they have stepped is only 4 mats square and lit simply with the faint glow of candles, which balance amid shelf upon shelf of tall, black, memorial tablets and squat, sweet smelling, incense bowls.

Tsuzuki walks a very deliberate path between the shelves, eventually simply dropping to his knees as he reaches the section that had, supposedly, been his goal.

"Kon ban wa, Ichigo, you'll have to forgive me for not visiting sooner but things have been…busy…" He sounds worryingly maudlin and, very deliberately settling at his side, he at last enquires,

"What is this place, Tsuzuki?"

"Our way of coping with the shear scale of what happened both here and in Hiroshima, as well the unexpected repercussions."

The mechanics of just how the tablets are as coping mechanism is something that he has no desperate wish to explore further, the other, however…

"What repercussions would that be?"

"The swift, unexpected, eradication of a handful of our agents."

"Oh." It is a useless noise, this he knows so very well and yet he can not help but make it, can not help but place some verbalisation about the understanding that'd sprung suddenly into his mind.

Before the terror and senselessness of The Bomb they must have believed the Shinigami form to be entirely impervious. Afterwards…afterwards the notion that it was not as such had been sewn into his partner's head and left to explode out into the chaos of The Incident.

"We'd come here to help, Hiroshima had made everyone so very stretched, you see. When the bomb dropped I'd been just on the outskirts of the city chasing leads, while Ichigo…" This close he can feel the tenuous edges of the guilt straining at his partner's shields and, swallowing hard, he takes a firm hold of the other's hand.

The dark void of ache, regret and so very many other dark, terrible, emotions is less now than it had been during The Incident, yet strong enough to still require every inch of his restrain in order to keep the discomfort it is causing from his face.

"You could no more stop than bomb than you can stop the rain, Tsuzuki."

"I know, I truly do, but I still can't quite squash the 'what if' demons." He responds before he gestures to the tablet sat just above their eye level and says, "Ichigo was a tough old work-a-holic a little like you and I was his pet project. Every day there'd be a test or gentle push…something that I found a little frustrating, but…"

"He was your partner."

"Heh, guess I'm just as corny as ever."

"Guess so." He counters as he leans, just slightly, into the elder's side.

O

T: Next chapter, next week, until then perhaps review?


	3. Pride

3. Pride.

T: Warnings and disclaimers remain the same as in previous chapters. There's going to be an extra bonus of 'notes' at the end of the chapter for anyone curious!

O

Of course he had known that, eventually, he would have to again sleep entirely alone, that he and Tsuzuki would have to become part of the real world once again…that life would go back to how it had been before…

Knowing and actually experiencing the terrible ache of loneliness as the spike of that other, more frightening, emotion had proved an entirely different experience.

Indeed so very intense does the separation…anxiety…become that, for the first time in his life, he is caught in the desperate want to simply drown everything away in cheep alcohol.

The long years of sitting close to his partner's side as he pursued just such a course of action has given him a good idea of just how varied it's success rate could be and yet, the very thought that it would be better avoided, has him acting on the impulse.

It is, he somewhat fuzzily muses a good hour later, an irrationality spurned, as so many things, by the loadstone of his pride.

He was certain that he ought not to allow the trait to rule him so entirely, that he should see it as a dark thing tied into the open, festering, wound of his Past, however…

The thought skitters away before he can complete it and, mentally shrugging he takes another deep sip of the sweet tasting liquid currently occupying the glass.

This was, approximately, his tenth drink and though he had the warm, detached, sensation he had occasional sensed during Tsuzuki's drinking sensations he found that there was a part of his mind still very aware of everything going on.

Frowning down at the glass he tips the rest of its contents down his throat in one strong swig and catching the barman's eye declares,

"A large measure of your strongest, if you would."

A wave of fuzzy sympathy and then a bright smile, accompanying the statement of,

"Perhaps it would be better to talk things through, sir."

That he is being treated as some naive child ignites the usual ire and his mind is lucid enough that, though he knows it to be foolish, he makes the choice to simply let it free.

Warm, warm, hands catch him a moment before he lashes out at the bartender and move him, oh so gently, back up and into the stifled confines of his room.

"You've been drinking." It is more statement than accusation and yet still he finds himself snapping back the response of,

"Yes and why not, I'm a responsible adult, after all."

"Hisoka…" Soft voice trailing, large, artistic, hands lift to form entirely useless shapes in the air a moment before he eventually enquires,

"What pushed you to this?"

"Does there need to be a reason?"

"For someone like you, yes."

"Huh and why would that be, Tsuzuki?"

"I'm not letting you turn this into an argument." His partner counters ad he at last sets himself down at his side.

The sober edge of his mind at last claws some semblance of control from his fogged impulses and, scratching heavy feeling fingers through his hair he says, "I'm sorry, honestly I am, it's just…" he catches himself before he can utter something he might regret with a clearer head and, cautiously rising back up onto his feet, he says, "I'll be alright on my own now."

"'soka…"Tsuzuki shakes his head against whatever he'd been going to say and, smiling his lying smile he says, " Come get me for breakfast," before he skitters away.

He stands immobile a long while after that, his fogged mind attempting, desperately, to gain some form of sanity out of the last few minutes and then he collapses, somewhat ungracefully, back into his bed.

X

When he at last awakes from the usual cocktail of nightmares it is to a sensation that feels a little as though someone has placed cotton wool in his head.

It takes a great effort to heft himself up onto legs that feel as though he has run a half marathon and to walk himself into the comforting embrace of his morning bath.

Slowly his mind trawls through his actions the previous night, wincing as it reaches the almost incident at the bar and stalling entirely as it reaches the exchange with Tsuzuki.

The other had been holding tight to his emotions and yet there in his eyes had been such a force of…something…

He shivers at the answering force of emotion that catches at him at the recollection and at last he accepts what he has known to be true for so very long.

At last he accepts that he desires his partner…that he loves him, body and soul.

The acceptance lifts a slight weight from his shoulders; however, it also allows shapeless fear to take a firm hold of his heart.

Feeling nauseous as well as so very on edge he puts on the familiar mask of diffidence and crosses the scant distance between his own room and his partners.

Tsuzuki looks beautifully dishevelled as he answers the door and the hot, fierce, spark of lust that catches him at the sight is enough to place the slightest of tremor in his voice as he enquires,

"You forgot that you asked me to get you, didn't you?"

"No, no, I just thought that you'd be sleeping in a little after last night." The statement is typical Tsuzuki affability and yet there is an under lying bitterness that has him responding,

"I shouldn't have resorted to such a stupid means of escape, but a part of me wanted to try it, just once, so that I might prove to myself that I could…that I'd somehow become more than that angry child who passed out after only a single glass of Sake."

"Ah." The sound is accompanied by the faintest trace of disappointment and then Tsuzuki is smiling a more genuine smile and stating, "Somehow I thought it'd be something like that."

"As you're not quite ready I'm going to go ahead and make apologies for my manner last night."

"Ok, I'll see you in five minutes?"

"Right."

O

T: This chapter really was a little nightmare for me to get right! I wanted to push Hisoka to the point where he had no real choice but to admit his feelings to himself and a little drink fuelled foolishness seemed the best option. However, Hisoka is far too prideful and desperate to maintain self control for him simply to start drinking for fun and so I had to then come up for a plausible excuse for him taking this course of action.

Personally, I think this combination of his own want to prove himself capable as 'a man' and his constant want to be as equal to his partner, is just believable enough to not count to far into OOC territory, hopefully you guys are sort of on side with me on that!

Next chapter next week, until then review?


	4. Perspective

4. Perspective.

T: In which I employ a wonderful old plot device to move things on a little! Beware the OC, OOC, RANDOM THEORISING, RANDOMVERSE, SLASH, ANGT, and the sewn together Hisoka Characterisation! I own only the plot. Oh and _italics_ are a skip in time/place/everything!

O

It takes the greatest of effort to get through breakfast without making his new found comprehension of his heart painstakingly clear. Indeed, in a show of vulnerability that has his pride rankling hard in his mind, he eventually cries a painful headache and retreats, once more, to his room.

Once secure he takes a shaking breath and attempts to find some calm, rational, centre to the whole matter. It is a tact that, inevitably, ends with him even more frustrated than before and, though it further buffets his pride, he turfs out his little used and little loved mobile.

Watari picks up with a speed that denotes either a lack of work or a lack of motivation and, praying silently for the former, he states simply.

"I need your help, Watari."

"Oh? Aren't you two on some form of rehabilitation program that basically forbids you doing anything even remotely constituting work?"

"It's a 'decompression exercise' rather than rehabilitation, but that's not at all relevant at the moment."

"Ah, so this is a personal matter?"

"Yes."

"You'll want some magical way to forget that you're in love with Tsu then."

"How…actually, no, you knowing is something that really shouldn't shock me. You're an expert people watcher, after all."

"Heh, that's me!" The Scientist retorts before informing him, "Come get some air outside your hotel in about an hour."

He is all together certain that the enquiry of "What are you up to now?" would wield a frightening or foolish answer and, taking the view that ignorance was, at least in this case, bliss, he responds simply with,

"Right, I'll see you in an hour then."

He kills the time void with a few paragraphs of his current book, a few minutes of channel hopping and slipping a hastily constructed note under the door to Tsuzuki's room. He then slips his denim jacket over his shoulders and meanders his way out into the fresh air.

"Hmm you're looking a little peaky." The remark is followed by a firm hug and the familiar broil of Watari's emotions.

"Yes, thank you for that, Watari." He responds as he pushes himself free.

"Heh, glad to see that you're still your amiable self," the other remarks before glancing once over each shoulder and then enquiring, "How about a little walk down the river?"

Of course the altogether furtive attitude has him even further on edge and yet, having watched Tsuzuki stumble into similar situations, he knew that there was now no point in putting up a resistance.

Precisely two minutes later he is breathing the oddly electric scent of free moving fresh water and feeling more ….settled…than he had for the last handful of hours.

"Ah, so it _did_ work." Watari remarks before informing him, "Whenever I felt agitated or unsure…before…I always took in a little river air, of course sea air is a little more traditional but mama always said…"

"That's enough of that, Watari," he remarks before enquiring, "So why make this a face to face thing?"

"Boredom and I thought that you might want a little bit of perspective before you took any sort of regrettable action."

This last is followed by Watari carefully placing a very familiar tablet onto the soil before them,

"That's…"

"A memorial to a good agent, but it's also a little more." Watari concludes, before carefully taking a hold of his wrists, remarking, "Try not to be too mad with me after words, ok," and placing his hands against the cool stone.

_The muggy, silky, sensation is one he associates oh so well with emotional overload and yet he cal feel nothing other than his own, intense, confusion._

_It is a strangeness compounded not only by his sudden, unexplained, return to the bureaux, but also how…odd…everything looks._

_Though it unsettles him to admit it, Watari seems as his only hope of clarification and he has just begun to make his way to the infirmary when he catches a familiar profile out of the corner of his eye. _

_As he turns to confirm what he knows shouldn't be true everything slides together into one concessive whole. For there, slumped now in a ratty old office chair, is his partner and yet…_

_His hair is ridiculously long, a fact only emphasised by the poor attempt he has made in bundling it up into a ponytail. His body is thinner, less defined and clothed in a crumpled mess of items that are entire worlds from his usual collection of smart/casual attire. _

_Somehow the tablets contained the emotional imprint of those that they commemorated and, by touching his hands to the stone belonging to Ichigo Ryuhei, he had been drawn into a snapshot of that other's life._

_It is a theory confirmed not a moment later as a smart suited, well groomed, stranger approaches Tsuzuki's slumped form and gently claps him once about the head._

"_Ow! Was that really necessary, Ichigo?"_

"_That is a rhetorical question, Tsuzuki-san."_

"_Of course, because it'd be too much to hope that my partner might want to be kind to me once in a while."_

"_I treat you in a perfectly amiable manner, Tsuzuki-san, however…"_

"_I was being an eyesore and you've told me before about the consequences of that particular activity."_

"_Precisely."_

_So akin to one of many exchanges that they have had over the years had the matter been that he half expects Tsuzuki to either tear up or antagonise Ichigo further. However, his partner simply shrugs his shoulder and states,_

"_I can't see why it matters to be honest, but then that's why I've got you, neh, Ichigo?"_

"_It is a factor, yes." The other responds before passing a thing case folder over and remarking, "I'm coming back to quiz you on this in an hour so you might want to commit the basics to memory."_

"_I'll do what I can." The enthused statement is followed by his partner straightening himself up in the chair and actually turning his attention onto his work._

_It is a placidity and co-operation that has attempted to achieve from the very moment that he had chosen to stay at Tsuzuki's side and yet…_

All of a sudden he is being wrenched, somewhat forcibly, back into the present and choked on Watari's somewhat intense uncertainty.

"Ugh, can you tone that down a little? You're giving me a head ache." He remarks as he breaks free, at last, from the other's grip.

"Sorry, sorry, I was just a little uncertain how you'd take the surprise."

"Were they always like that with each other?" The question is not, at all, relevant and, sagging a little in relief, Watari responds,

"I only really saw the last few week of that particular partnership, but from the way everyone else talks about it I'm guessing that it was a pretty constant thing."

"But Tsuzuki was so…"

"Diffident? Restrained? Impassive?" Watari enquires before informing him, "He and Ichigo were put together only a little after Tsu had ended things with Tatsumi and so, by that point, I think he'd decided that not caring at all was better than caring all too much."

"A decision that you want me to believe he let go for my sake?"

"Why do you find that so unbelievable?"

"Because I've never been kind or welcoming, never treated him any more tenderly than Ichigo-san did."

"Perhaps not," Watari remarks before adding, "However, you have been hurt in a way that Ichigo-san never was, have suffered so very much that to simply brush you aside as he had every other after that point would have been beyond cruel."

"Ha! So that's my advantage, the salve for my insecurity? That he pities me? That he sees me as some apparently hopeless case that maybe, just maybe, he might be able to fix?" He enquires as he rounds on the other, fists clenched hard at his sides.

"That might be how it started, but it's not how it is now, Bon."

He opens his mouth to protest, to scream that such monumental shifts in perspective only ever happened in fantasies and then he recalls the heat in his partner's eyes from the night previous.

Caught he all but folds in on himself and, head turned back towards the tablet, he enquires,

"How can you say such a thing so confidently, Watari-san? How can you have such unwavering certainty when I do not?"

"Because I have the advantage of an objective perspective and I've been precisely where you are now."

O

T: Next chapter next week, review?


	5. Peace

5. Peace. 

T: OMG last chapter! Expect upping of the slash quota, a little extra smidge of angst and fluff abound. I own only the plot!

O

"Because I have the advantage of an objective perspective and I've been precisely where you are now." The statement is followed by a wave of unmistakable emotion and, shaking his head, he remarks,

"So he is right."

"Ah, I take that to mean that Tsu's been on to us, heh, I'd expect nothing less of him."

"I wouldn't be so happy about the fact; he's firmly of the opinion that you're bad influences on one another and has even taken to calling you the 'gruesome twosome.'"

"Pft, that's stupidly adorable." Watari remarks, all the while chuckling contentedly to himself, "You were likely vehemently arguing with him the entire time, Sei and I are somewhat chalk and cheese, plus we're both pretty blank as far as empathic responses goes, right?"

"I had my reservations, indeed, which means he's going to be annoyingly impossible the very second that he finds out he was right."

"Assuming we tell him, of course," Watari winks playfully at that and then, mood sobering somewhat worryingly, he says, "Whether you decide to tell him or no, Bon, you know that you can't carry on the way you are now, that there's a hard choice to make in the next few days."

He flinches a little at the sound of his own darkest thoughts and, nodding, he responds,

"Yes, I know."

Watari pats him firmly on the back, states, "It'll be the right choice no matter what," with a fierce confidence that he things, momentarily, of snatching away and then with the parting shot of, "I'm only a call away, ok!" the scientist picks the tablet up and skitters back in the direction of its resting place.

Mind temporally, and some what mercifully, blank he slowly makes his way back to the hotel.

He had half expected to be set upon the instant that he crosses into the plush, well air conditioned, entrance foyer and thus it caught with a strange mix of relief and disappointment when the expectation fails to manifest itself as a reality.

The disappointment swiftly shits into a clawing concern that obliterates the relief as he gains no response from his partner's room and fails at finding the other in any of the many restaurants dotted about the building or those within close walking distance.

Again the sure and certain thought of abandonment, of stumbling, unknown, into a repeat of The Incident, catches at him and he instantly calls the other.

"Tsuzuki desu." He sounds suspiciously cheery and, panic forgotten as swiftly as it had formed, he enquires,

"You've found a well hidden little cake shop and are currently gorging yourself on sweet things, right?"

"Oh, 'Soka, you're back from your walk! Did it help?"

"Never mind that, what's with striding off without so much as a thought for anyone else?"

"Eh? I left you message at reception didn't I…oh, that's right the lady on the desk couldn't find a pen and while she was gone I realised that I'd left my wallet in the room…"

"And after you retrieved your wallet you forgot that you hadn't actually left a message. Etch, try and be a little more responsible, won't you?"

"Sorry, 'Soka." The apology is swiftly followed by an enquiry of, "Do you fancy joining me?" and, simply out of the desire to see the other's faced once more, he responds to the positive.

"Great! It's a down this little back street just next to a combini!" With which the other terminates the call and leaves him to mutter, "What sort of directions are those? Plus shouldn't you have given me a name, idiot," to the dial tone.

X

Eventually he finds the shop in question thanks, mainly, to the cool void of Tsuzuki's empathic shielding, something that he makes sure to drum into the elder once he has settled into his seat.

"Hn, apparently I'm a little absent minded today."

"Actually it's a pretty constant thing." He responds as he lifts his spoon and prods, experimentally, at the concoction before him.

"It's tiramisu."

"Yes, I see that. Why is it on my side of the table?"

"You won't have eaten since breakfast and the lady at the counter said that their chief makes certain to use really good coffee in their tiramisu in order to cater to pallets such as yours."

Caught by the comprehension that the pudding is an act of typically Tsuzuki like concern, he finds himself slicing the smallest of samples without so much as a second thought.

"It's not bad." He remarks after rolling the fluffy, coffee edged, concoction across his mouth a few moments.

"Praise indeed coming from you." Tsuzuki counters before flashing him a needlessly enthused smile and at last returning his attention back to his own desert.

The silence that follows is altogether unsettling, most especially with the sound of Watari's words fixed in a loop in his head and after only a few moments he says,

"So what have you been doing with yourself this morning?"

"I played a little go with this old man I met after you went to rest your head, then I had a little walk about while doing my 'old man thing' of se3eing what's been modernised and then I stumbled on this place."

"At which point you set up home."

"Actually I made sure to give myself a budget…it wouldn't do to have you mad with me, after all."

His chest tightens reflexively for the kindness and smiling an apologetic smile Tsuzuki says,

"Sorry, I promise that that wasn't a deliberate prod."

"Hm, so you're finally admitting that you do like to prod at me, are you?"

"Oh, hadn't I already admitted that before?" Tsuzuki enquires before adding, "I'm afraid teasing you has become a somewhat guilty pleasure."

It is, of course, a harmless, light hearted, statement and yet, at the sound of it…at the hidden confirmation that he is viewed as little more than a petulant child to coddle or placate as his partner sees fit…he finds himself trapped up in an unremitting wave of depression.

Caught by the sudden, frightful, want to simply cry without cessation, he takes a shaky breath, makes an un-alterable choice, and enquires,

"Tsuzuki, what am I to you?"

Shock clear on his face and then the elder states simply, "Let's not talk about this here," before gesturing for the check.

More than anything on the long, long, journey back to the hotel, he wishes that he might have some insight into his partner's current emotional state…

…might have some hint of just what the repercussions of his 'bravery' would be.

They remain in silence until they reach Tsuzuki's doorway and then, propping the thing open with one foot, his partner states,

"Come in."

Once the door clicks behind him he finds his courage gone, finds himself unable to do anything other than stand impassive and state, "I shouldn't have asked you that," as he places his hands onto the door handle.

The sound that Tsuzuki's hand makes as it smacks the door closed is so very loud in a silence filled only with the skittering tempo of his heart and the rush of their breathing.

Tsuzuki is leaning now just enough to as to keep a pressure on the door, but not enough to trap him, or to establish even the slightest contact between them.

"I'm sorry, but I can't allow you to run away, not now that you've pushed things this far." Tsuzuki informs him before enquiring, "Now what was that question again?"

"What am I to you?" His voice is shaking so very much and yet, as Tsuzuki smiles a heart stopping smile, he can not find the want to care. Can not find the desire to do anything other than loose himself in that smile, in the whispered response of "This," and the electric thrill that takes him as Tsuzuki presses down for the softest of kisses.

The contact is more than enough top convey everything his partner had been inferring in subtle body language and simple, caring actions. It is also more than enough to confirm the reality of the moment, to have him scrambling for as much sensation as he can manage.

Eventually a firm hand pushes, oh so gently, at his torso and eyes all but glowing Tsuzuki remarks,

"I think that's enough for a moment."

Instantly the question of 'why' sprouts in his head, along with a very real sense of fragility, the like of which he has never before experienced.

"Ah, 'Soka, don't look like that. It's not that I don't want to carry on, but I can't let us get away with ourselves." Tangled still so very tight to the other he can feel the spike of lust that accompanies that statement and flushing a little, he remarks,

"Hm, so you've finally decided to start acting like an adult."

"Ha, ha, very funny." A long pause and then, "The drinking, was that for my sake?"

"In a way." He responds before he says, "Maybe we should sit down."

"Ah, of course!" At that the elder is skittering away from his side in order that he might shift the chair out form under its position at the desk and relocate it to sit a little from the edge of his bed. "Here you go," he remarks as he pats the empty seat and settles onto his mattress.

With the weight off of his feat a little of the light headed sensation dissolves and, even with the scant contact of Tsuzuki's knees against his own, he at last feels somewhat in control of the situation once more.

"It was hard to think about being without you again, about returning to the distant sort of normality that he'd had before…that time. Dwelling on those thoughts made me want to indulge in a little foolishness, rationality had me dismissing the idea and then pride…"

"...Had you at the bar before you quite got a hold of yourself." Tsuzuki concludes before he remarks, "You know, that pride of yours is going to bring you to ruin one day."

"Hm much like your selflessness." He counters before enquiring, "What was last night about?"

"Ah." He flushes just barely and, feeling altogether caught and somewhat furtive, he says, "Seeing you like that was a little…tempting…for me, you're normally so composed, so sure, after all."

He can not help the smile that catches at him at the admission, nor indeed the sudden burst of hilarity that follows swiftly afterwards,

"We've been rather silly, haven't we?"

"Hm, I think it was all a matter of perspective." He retorts as he leans, ever so slightly, forwards brushes the hair a little from his face and then places a warm, warm, palm to his face. "We'd gotten a little comfortable as we were and the fear contained in changing things was enough that it clouded our vision."

A sudden, terrible, thought catches him and, pressing up and into the warmth of Tsuzuki's chest, he enquires,

"Kanoe-kaichou entirely set this whole thing up, didn't he?" A spike of the same understanding from his partner and then Tsuzuki falls into uncontrollable laughter. "Hn, that's what I thought."

"Pft, it's not all that bad, 'Soka."

"You only say that because the natural hue of your skin means you can be embarrassed without showing it, while I'm stupidly pale" The silly little comment has the desired effect of increasing Tsuzuki's laughter and he relaxes into the warm, comforting, sound.

Eventually the elder gains control of himself and placing a chaste little kiss to his forehead he says,

"You never cease to surprise me," before extracting himself from both his spot on the bed and the comforting embrace. "Oh! I found a little collection that I thought you might want to go see tomorrow!"

"Hm and what do you plan to do with the rest of today?"

"How about we go see what's on at the cinema?"

"Fine, but you're paying for snacks."

"Meanie!"

O

T: And there it is! I hope you guys enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing oh and have a tiny omake:

Eventually the elder gains control of himself and placing a chaste little kiss to his forehead he enquires,

"What would I do without you?"

"Now that's a question I can't answer…wait, what?" Hisoka does a double take at the script in his hand then, glancing out at the authoress enquires, "Seriously? What sort of cheesy, Shojo manga response is that?"

"It's romantic!" The authoress responds.

"It's girly is what it is and I refuse to work with someone who'd put such terrible words in my mouth! Come on Tsuzuki we're on strike!" The blond remarks as he grabs his partner's arm and storms out of the room.

"Wait, Hisoka, I'll re-write the sentence….Hisokaa!"


End file.
